6 Things I Recommend to Anyone Living With Migraine
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Living with migraine involves a lot of trial and error. Mostly error, if we’re being honest.
I spent years trying to push through migraine attacks, feeling guilty when I couldn’t and telling myself I would focus more on my own health when life calmed down. As a parent, you can probably guess how well that worked.
After more than 30 years with migraine, I have learned that managing the disease is not about finding one perfect routine or controlling every possible trigger. It is about building a migraine management plan that makes life a little more manageable.
These are the six things I recommend to anyone living with migraine. None is a miracle cure, and I am definitely not suggesting that you overhaul your entire life by Tuesday. They are simply the things that have helped me feel less lost, find better support and become more confident in my care.
If you have no idea what to do next, start with one.
1. Find Migraine Support from People who Truly Understand
Migraine can be incredibly isolating. Even the people who love us may not fully understand the pain, neurological symptoms and constant calculations that can come with the disease.
You can explain that light and sound hurt, your words are not coming out correctly and you are trying not to throw up. Yet, someone will still suggest drinking more water.
One of the best things I’ve done was find a migraine support group. There is a particular kind of relief that comes from talking to someone who already gets it. You do not have to prove that migraine is serious or explain why a canceled plan can carry so much guilt. Other members can also share lived experience, practical ideas and questions you may want to bring to your healthcare provider.
My Parenting With Migraine Facebook Support Group is a place for parents living with migraine to ask questions, share experiences and connect with people managing the same impossible combination of migraine and family life. If you prefer a peer to peer virtual support group with a moderator, I recommend the Danielle Foundation’s Migraine Management Support Group with a moderator.
2. Stop Settling for Migraine Care That isn’t Helping
If your current migraine treatment plan is not helping, your doctor tells you there is nothing else to try, or you simply do not feel heard, do not assume that this is the end of the road.
Get a second opinion. If you still do not feel comfortable, get a third. You are not being difficult. You are advocating for your health.
Not every neurologist specializes in migraine and other headache disorders. If your attacks are frequent, disabling, difficult to diagnose or not responding to treatment, it may be worth looking for a headache specialist. The American Migraine Foundation's Find a Doctor tool can help you search for a clinician with experience in migraine and headache care.
Finding a doctor you trust does not guarantee symptom-free days. It can, however, open the door to migraine treatment options you may not have explored and help you feel more confident about the care you are receiving.
Virtual Migraine Care Through Neura Health
I use Neura Health, a virtual neurology clinic that offers video appointments with board-certified neurologists.
It may be worth exploring if you do not have a headache specialist nearby, have difficulty traveling to appointments or want another opinion. Neura Health accepts select insurance plans in certain states and also offers membership and per-visit options. Availability and coverage vary by location.
Parenting With Migraine readers can get $15 off the initial membership fee with code parenting15.
3. Learn How to Explain Migraine to Others
Finding the right words can make a real difference in how other people understand migraine. At the same time, language is personal. No one should be shamed for the words they use to describe their own health.
The Coalition for Headache and Migraine Patients explains that dismissive language and stereotypical images can minimize headache diseases and reinforce stigma. More accurate language helps communicate that migraine is a neurological disease, not simply a bad headache.
Here are a few phrases you may find useful:
Instead of “migraines,” try “migraine attacks.”
Instead of “I have a migraine,” try “I'm having a migraine attack.”
Instead of “I get migraines,” try “I live with migraine.”
Saying “migraine attack” helps distinguish an individual attack from the migraine disease itself. Migraine is a neurological disorder we live with every day, while migraine attacks are the episodes that occur within it. Even between attacks, many of us are taking preventive medication, managing symptoms, avoiding known triggers or worrying about when the next attack will hit. In other words, we live with migraine and experience migraine attacks.
Clearer language will not magically make everyone understand. It may, however, reduce the chance that a well-meaning aunt responds to a complex neurological disorder with an Excedrin and a lecture about hydration.
CHAMP's full Headache & Migraine Disease Language and Image Guide includes more examples.
4. Stop Blaming Yourself for Migraine
This one is easy to write and much harder to believe: migraine is not your fault.
Migraine is a complex neurological disease with a strong genetic influence. A bad attack does not mean you failed to manage your stress, drink enough water, follow the perfect diet or somehow try hard enough.
Yes, healthy routines and avoiding your known triggers may help lower the likelihood of some attacks. That does not mean you can perfectly control your nervous system. Weather changes, hormones, illness, stress and ordinary life do not always cooperate with the plan.
Migraine guilt can make an already difficult disease even heavier. If you rest, cancel plans, order dinner or let the kids have more screen time because you are trying to get through an attack, that is not a moral failure. It is you responding to a neurological disease with the capacity you have that day.
Imagine speaking to someone you love with the same harshness you sometimes reserve for yourself. You would never do it. You deserve that same compassion.
If you are still trying to separate migraine facts from the blame and misinformation surrounding the disease, read 7 Things to Know About Migraine: Symptoms and Treatment.
5. Track What Is Actually Happening
Migraine brain is not exactly known for its excellent recordkeeping. By the time I am sitting in a doctor's office and someone asks how many attack days I had last month, every day has blended into one vague answer: a lot?
A migraine diary can help you track attack frequency, symptoms, severity, medication use and treatment response. Over time, it may reveal patterns that are difficult to see in the middle of daily life. It also gives your healthcare provider more useful information than either of you can get from memory alone.
Start with the information you and your provider can actually use:
The date and length of the attack
Your symptoms and how much they limited your day
Any acute treatments you used and whether they helped
Possible patterns, such as your menstrual cycle, illness, major sleep changes or weather shifts
Any side effects or changes after starting a treatment
You can use a paper calendar, a notes app or a dedicated migraine tracking app. Migraine Buddy allows you to record attacks, symptoms, medications and possible triggers on your phone.
Try a Simple Traffic Light Migraine Diary
If detailed tracking feels overwhelming, try the traffic light system. Mark each day on a paper or digital calendar:
Green: You had mild symptoms but could still function.
Yellow: You had moderate symptoms that limited your day.
Red: Migraine symptoms were disabling.
Blank: You were completely symptom-free.
It takes less than a minute and gives you a visual record of both symptom days and how much migraine affected your ability to function.
6. Ask about a migraine treatment you have not tried
My Ukrainian grandmother lived with migraine throughout her life. When she was young, her mother’s friend rubbed cow dung and molasses on her forehead to cure it. She lived to 94 and still experienced migraine attacks, so I feel pretty comfortable crossing that remedy off the list.
Thankfully, we now have actual migraine treatment options, including acute and preventive medications, injections, infusions, behavioral treatments and neuromodulation devices. There is no single best treatment for everyone, which is both encouraging and deeply annoying.
Something that did not help your friend may help you, and something that changed another person's life may do absolutely nothing for yours. Work with your healthcare provider to decide what is appropriate for you, what result you are looking for and how long a fair trial should last. When practical, changing one thing at a time can also make it easier to tell what is helping or causing side effects.
CEFALY
The one migraine treatment I regularly use is CEFALY, an FDA-cleared, nonprescription, drug-free medical device for the acute and preventive treatment of migraine in adults. It has allowed me to significantly reduce my intake of acute medication and end my medication overuse headache cycle.
You can save 15% with my link. You can also find more products I actually use on my Migraine Favorites page.
You do not have to change everything at once
Managing migraine is not a test of how perfectly you can avoid triggers, follow a routine or stay positive. It is an ongoing process of finding the right medical care, support and tools for your particular brain and your actual life.
You do not need to act on all six recommendations this week. Choose the one that would make life feel a little easier right now. Join a support group. Make the appointment. Put colored dots on a calendar. Ask your doctor one new question.
Small steps still count, especially when you are taking them with migraine.
Which of these feels most useful to you right now? Come tell me on Instagram or Facebook. I am always happy to connect.
Medical Advice Disclaimer
THIS WEBSITE DOES NOT PROVIDE MEDICAL ADVICE. All content is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult a qualified healthcare professional about any medical condition or treatment and before changing your healthcare routine. Never disregard or delay seeking professional advice because of something you have read on this website.
